“I bought 43 pen drives to give yall the syllabus” Did yall see the new button on my computer? It says “no.” “does it work?” “no” “money isn’t worth anything anymore. But we are. We’re still worth something thank God” “there is no way in hell this class isn’t over yet” *lights come on “oh! Oh its you” “when I don’t wanna do something like that… guess what… “ “watch for trolls… that means watch out for administrator. They tell me don’t tell your students stuff like that!” “ do you guys know what a grease trap is? These places like mcdonalds…. They have to have that stuff removed…. That’s  a job I got… it was terrible but I got free food” “the syllabus is not mine… I just put it up there to get the administrators off my back” “you’re looking at a 2.1 out of 4” “The science approach- a repetitive process where scientists attempt to explain and predict things… If the predictions don’t work the scientists don’t get donuts.” “people get that messed up… and end up with imaginary coconuts” “I will write the exam in Swahili to make it difficult for you” “there will be true/false, multiple choice, God knows what else” “my granddaughter sent me a picture of her nails… they had whales on them” student.. “can you email the syllabus to us?” him.. “ I wouldn’t dare.” “the rest of you wiggle your toes, and I’ll be back in half an hour” “ I have the personality of a pissed off rhinoceros… well just put whatever you want down” “have your fun, cause I’m gonna have mine” “If you don’t have your computer on, it’s difficult to use” “here’s something else for you to worry about… worrywarts.” “you have  an A and excused from class for the next semester… don’t move.” “I told you what happened on pickaprof…it says I like the ladies…I was just glad it doesn’t say I liked the men!” “take it with a grain of… no you can’t take that legally” “you can use this diagram which is a madman’s drawing in the middle of the night… but it’s good demonstration of sea floor spreading” “to find out if they are an A or a B person… go to their house… go into their bathroom, and see if their toilet paper comes from the top or the bottom” “the ice age lowered the water… blah blah blah. Good. fine. “ “we’ve got some Neanderthals in this building, but we won’t go into that” “we talked about negative coconuts did we not? Do you believe in negative coconuts?” “it will be 700 true false, and it will all be false.” *about the test “You are taking this way too seriously” *Was it a quiz or a test?  “Its… the thing you took on Tuesday; call it what you will” “I’ve been fighting being organized for the majority of my life” “Have I told you about my roommate Mr. serious? Oh he was serious…” “Mademoiselle I need to see you after class” Student: me? “Well the gentlemen behind you isn’t a mademoiselle unless I’m terribly mistaken” “do you understand. No? neither do I” “lights out, but no foolin around” “I don’t know if this is going to work… I wouldn’t bet one of your lives on it” “never tell the administration that you’re having fun…” “anybody mystified by all this jazz? No? will any of you explain it to me?” “this has proved to be disturbing to some people” “your roommate might get a little strung out if I start asking about underwater xylophones” “here you go (gives test), my deepest apologies.” “where’s Nicole? She escaped!” “why would you ask me a question?” “every year I write in my own name in the election book” “the navy calls me up with a “top secret” problem, and they think…. For some odd reason… that I’m gonna fix it for them” “have I pushed the button? No.. but I know where the button is” “I’ve trained for war, and it’s not fun.” “it’s called constancy of composition; you will find out of it or be sorry” takes kid’s phone* “this is a nice one… I could keep this as a souvenir” “Physics is not hard, it’s cute. “  “if that doesn’t make sense, everything goes to hell… well one really should say hades” “conservation is a sacred cow as long as science is concerned” “Aren’t you glad I’m not famous… actually I’m infamous. “